Questions asked in therapy

Are you open to a real conversation?

The basic element, the key to any work towards understanding more...are you?Ready for a truly open dialogue?

Tell me where you're at?

Getting an understanding from you on how things look like for you, in your world... where you're coming from, where you're heading...what ishappneing to you?...what is ahead?

What are you sitting with today?

Where does your mind go when you let it?...is more about understanding what meaning you make of it...and what happens for you, what do you experience...trying to untangle whatever is playing on your mind

Imagine you've got what or where you wanted; close your eyes...and tell me how it feels for you?

....And when you get there, how would life be and feel like? How would you do life then... how woudl a day look like, what will be differnt, what will it make happen. We sometimes get so focused on the wanting to change that we forget to imagine how it actually feesl like.

What does a good day look like?

And if you'd have a good day and the support you need, what do you think would help, what does support look like... for one to undestand you, for therapy to work, for you to outgrow this....what does a good day, on the other side of now, look like?

When was the last time you cried?

Tears are a powerful way of shifting energy..think about it...what is something that you never said but you wished to...

All that is trapped inside is flowing through those tears...

The last time you sat in silence...were your thoughts useful? How did they behave?

Our minds protect us and are designed to give us more of what we know or learn; they also take us on aimless journeys, play tricks on us...all the time.
When you observe your thinking...how do those thoughts behave? ... are they useful, are they passionate? childish? throwing a tantrum? deepen the spiral?

How did this come about?

In the scheme of things...how do you explain this to yourself..has there been anyone empathetic to you in your life..the small moments...the choices...the feelings...the emotions

You haven't always been like this...so...who are you?

Tell me about your world, your choices, how did you come to be this you?

When I say strong...what comes to mind?

Our minds attach meaning and symbols or images to abstract concepts and it is through those meanings that we filter and perceive our behaviours and the way we act or react to our eco-system.

So ... when I say strong, or love, or sweetness, or letting go, or tears, or good day, or connection, or therapy, or time, or slow, or calm, or passion...what comes to mind for each of them?

How do you feel about yourself?

Most of us have a confidence in our own capacity to mend, to heal, to move through life at our own pace.

For some of us, we still recover from something, and we know that safety is not a lack of threat, safety is in fact the presence of connection.

...we intentionally choose to connect for our own survival.

Essentially, it's not about what happened to us, it's what meanign we assign for it in our mind.

Taking a look at how do we choose to relate to others knowing that meaning & what we made of 'things' in the past was arbitrary, only valid then...and potentially that meaning is not serving us good anymore.

Why is it important to you?

...if you hold on to something, an idea, an ideal, a stance, a thing, a possession, a belief...it's worth questioning yourself, why is it so important to you? How did you arrive to hold it in such high regard?

Tell me more about...

...try making me understand more about the experience you are describing, and expand into:

- the context inside and outside of you that time you think or talk of right now,

- the 'texture' or how what you feel or felt manifests in your body,

- the taste it left you with,

- the what you did & how it felt like right there and then ...or next day,

- how you cope or made peace with it? does it bohter you? or you accept it?

Yes...No...Maybe

Most of us adopt in our doing life a level of procrastination. Have you ever wondered why do I say yes...no...maybe to anything?

Why do I push something aside in favour of something else? Why when presented with a simple choice point we adopt the simpler, easiest choice?...why I avoid curiosity in that spectrum? why I avoid discovery of possibilities?

What would happen if for the next few days, every time you are about to say no or feel as if easier pushing something for later...what if you say yes instead?

What if you maybe give it a go for while? what would life look like if ...mmm...say you shift your alarm 30 minutes earlier and in those minutes you simply relax, take in the morning sun, slowly make the best cup of tea or coffee, look out the window or just lay in bed eyes open... and have a friendly and kind chat with you...what will you discover?

What do you see when you look at yourself?

Did you ever stopped and wondered why we feel so 'weird' when we hear our recorded voice or when we look at ourselves (truly look) in the mirror?

Did it ever crossed your mind that unless we saw our reflection in the water, we were not seeing our physical appearance to compare it with an other....think about it...how do you see yourself? inside and out?

Stop for a moment, go to the mirror...do you see yourself as a unique experience? ......what do you see?

What are the chances that...you get to end 'procrastinating' now?

I heard someone way smarter than me saying: " the only thing that stops or scares us is that we have not broken it in small enough steps".

Our brain takes a past experience and bends it so that it protects us from what we felt as hard or painful or exhausting back then...so much so, it is that good at looping, that it takes only 4 seconds to tip the balance of choices.

Stop for 4 seconds.

What are the chances that you haven't really considered the smallest step yet?Look around, and think.

What is the smallest step you can do right now?
... Pick that. A starting point.
Split that in half. Do just that one half right now.

And if you only did that...you did awesome!!!

And if you let yourself carried away and be curious... to do just another small step, because it feels good [(it so does!!!) and actually there's a hit of dopamine you feel in your veins] now that you are few more seconds in... well, that is blooming amazing!!!

...and that is all it takes.

How does change really happen for you?

What is it that you usually do to change something? ...anything...

When you look at two or more choices, do you make a conscious decision or automatically pick one?

What any of us do, we give our analytical mind a different model, different parametres to analyse, and as a result we choose differently from the usual pattern.

Let's talk about how this actually happens for you.

Time. We create stories about our own timeline:

Turns out that every time we recall a memory, our brain alters bits of it...it literally remembers it differently. Sometimes is wishful thinking, sometimes is added or subtracted information. Sometimes is added or subtracted intensity of the emotion that we still have attached to that memory.

So what if ....keeping this in mind, we can agree that the more time passes or the more we recall a memory the more it is warped along the story / the valence / the potence we choose to remember it like and what we choose to tell ourselves & keep 'alive' about it?

And more to it: what if, with time passing, we in our own person and mindframe, we now have more discernment, more information & better grasp of our own emotions to understand the story better? To truly consciously add to/subtract from the puzzle from back then the pieces that at the time we couldn't have possibly known?

If you have recently heard of the future influencing the past....this is us, and how we grow. Through the stories that we tell ourselves and we keep inside.

Past, present and future they all live in us, through us. What if we are time condensed in memories?

All memories we tend to label: good memories...not so good memories... good stories...good truths...not so good truths.... isn't time & perspective a wonderful thing?

Dare and rediscover yourself - try a combined therapies approach.

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Self-Esteem, Agency, Gratitude, Attachment and Authenticity

Self-esteem counseling services can help you develop a healthier sense of worth and confidence, agency and gratitude. This approach helps with navigating self-talk, self-compassion, improve your relationships with others, understand your needs for attachment and authenticity.

All modalities & techniques I work with ~ from the fields of hypnosys, psychotherapy and counselling ~ revolve around getting you to have a deeper understanding of who you are, your beliefs, your naratives, your experience of others and the world, reduce stress, pain and anxiety, and improve your overall well-being.

Positive Psychology - Meeting Your Needs

Positive psychology counseling services can help you develop a more positive outlook on life. This approach uses evidence-based techniques to help you cultivate intentionally focus on the goodness in you and in life, in what you have to offer, practicing gratitude, resilience, and optimism, and improve your overall well-being.

Change happens one day at a time, consistently.

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